Appraisals – Day 53

Today a lot of us got our Year End Appraisals. A lot of sad faces were seen all over the office. This is what happens when you work your ass off for something in hopes that you might get a good appraisal and you get trolled. Because, if the company gives great appraisals to everyone, the company would go broke. Typical example of why the economy is dwindling and and the huge gap between elite and the middle class.

Watch ‘Inequality for All’ Documentary for more information.

Meanwhile, I was told that my utilization was 100% which was eligible for a decent appraisal. However, if I were to receive great appraisal, my utilization should have been 120%-140%. This is the first time I came to know that something more than 100% can exist apart from the stock market. This implies I must work more hours than the specified working day so that I could achieve great appraisals?

Now lets get down to the details. Typical working hours range from 9 to 6. If 9 hours is considered to be 100% utilization, then to get great appraisal I should be working 120% which is 10.6 hours (including 1 hour of break).

Work life balance goes right down the drain.

“Everyone aboard the money making express? Strive for the best rating!”. Of course, they want you to think that! Because that means their pockets get thicker, sure we get a teeny bit of money that we spend on something that is trivial because – Middle Class.

Then comes the Bell Curve normalization process where if out of 10 employees, 8 of them are excellent performers and work really hard all the time, some of them definitely will be disappointed because normalization doesn’t treat everyone equally. Sigh.

This whole rating fiasco has everyone riled up. But frankly, I wasn’t bothered. I couldn’t care less. Meditation helped, but my mindset was on the big picture rather than flimsy appraisals that barely fill your pocket.

Greed is never ending, mindfulness helps you realize this.

On the way back home yesterday, I noticed a family living out of a makeshift hut, happily drinking broth, making conversation, laughing and having a good time. Two kids were playing with a broken tyre and the adults were sitting in a circle, eating. They were a group of construction workers. They don’t live a life of great luxury, yet they looked happy.

Today, their huts were missing, they have moved on to the next opportunity. They are probably drinking broth, making conversation, laughing and having a good time right this moment, in some foreign place.

They are probably happy.

Are you? πŸ™‚

Book Writing? – Day 52

I am thinking of writing a book. Its an ambitious idea like all my other ideas, but I like to think that nothing in this world is impossible. πŸ™‚

Some might argue and I welcome constructive criticisms but negative vibes bounce right off of me. Maybe the daily dose of meditation is paying off? So, about the book. I am thinking something along the lines of science fiction? or maybe mythological fiction? or non fiction? I haven’t really decided yet but I really need to start working on a book.

But before I start writing a book, I need to learn how to type fast. I still do not type the conventional way keeping fingers on ASDF. My fingers are all over the keyboard whenever I type. On second thoughts, maybe the way I type now is the best and I should stick to this? Idk, I am confused. I acknowledge the fact that I am confused. <–Meditation effect.

Amazon Kdp lets you publish for free. But the question still remains. What should I write? Suggestions are welcome. πŸ™‚

Goals – Day 51

I leveled up today by meditating for 20 minutes straight. It was tough and my mind was wandering all over. But I did complete it. Yay me.

Even though I have been undergoing drastic changes in my lifestyle, and I am seeing progress, I am still not able to achieve my targets. I just jotted down a rigorous schedule I must follow on all days including weekends with no space for slack and laziness. I think this might wear me out but I am all for the challenge.

Following topics recur in my schedule and my priorities for the next few months are going to revolve around the following general ideas. The main ones being – Machine Learning, Trading, Leisure Reading and writing. My hobbies however will be around the following habits that I am trying to build – reading books on Physics, creating Music (yes, I still haven’t gotten over this), creating a game (that would be so cool), creating Comic/Art.

Also, I am way behind on my 180 books a year target, but I am still optimistic on this goal. Lets see how far this goes. πŸ™‚

Calm – Day 50

I have been blogging everyday for the past 50 days and I have been meditating everyday for the past 20 days. I can see a clear difference between the me last December and me today. If you are reading this and you feel something isn’t right with your life, I urge you to give meditation a try. If it doesn’t work for you, you have nothing to lose. But if it does work, your mind will be more focused and calm, at all times.

In fact, my mind is so calm right now that I cannot think of anything to write.

Take 10 seconds off while you are reading this.

Breathe in and Breathe out 10 times while counting each inhalation and exhalation.

Even if your mind lingers off, acknowledge that thought and come back to your breath.

1. Breathe in, Breathe out.

2. Breathe in, Breathe out.

3. Breathe in, Breathe out.

4. Breathe in, Breathe out.

5. Breathe in, Breathe out.


Let your mind linger on that thought of calm for a while. πŸ™‚

Intuitive Hair – Day 49

My previous post has a comment by a friend of mine who says long hair increases intuition. I was very intrigued by this idea and I started doing some reading on my own. I read this really interesting article. Give it a read yourself and tell me what you think.

I haven’t cut my hair from December 2016 and it is around the length of my shoulder now. This is the longest I have ever grown my hair. There are quite a few changes that I actively recognize in my life but I never thought that this could be because I grew my hair/ I started doing stuff that I won’t normally do. I started meditating, I quit eating non veg, rather abruptly.

I stopped watching films. I have now stopped eating artificial sweets. I convinced myself that this was because my will power somehow got stronger? My will power has never been this strong for the past 24 years. Is it because I have always cut my hair at regular intervals ever since I was a kid? Is it because this is the longest I have ever been without cutting my hair?

They say hairs are extensions of our neural networks that extends from the spinal cord. Could this be true? If it is true, why are we cutting our hair?

It does sound a bit like psuedo science but what if its true?

Wow, this is a revelation. I am not going to cut my hair from now. Thanks for this insight Sharath.

Guys, please give this article a read.

What is this new view? – Day 48

I had an epiphany today. I wanted to create music. I decide to download the FL Studio version 12. FL Studio is a music production software which lets you create good music at par with the professionals. I had ambitious goals of spending the Saturday creating good music. However, fate had other plans.

Naturally, FL Studio is a paid software, and I am broke. So like all of us overachieving broke people, I navigated to one of many torrents’ proxy site. I downloaded a decent 600Mb file which claims to be the cracked version of the directors edition of FL Studio V12 (the latest).

I get excited, download the file and extract it.

There is one notepad file in the folder with the name enjoy.txt. As a pioneer of downloading pirated software over the internet, I know that a .txt file inside a compressed folder generally has instructions of installation with keygen and crack.

However, this particular .txt file only has the following string


This is pretty unusual, but I was really excited to create professional music and become the next Armin Van Buuren! So I double click the setup.exe anyways. The setup file starts like a normal setup and then navigates to a webpage asking my email address. Apparently, I should sign up on several websites to receive the keygen.

I have never felt so stupid in my entire adult life*. Right that moment, I know I am trapped.

Everything is a blur after that moment. My browser goes haywire, opening multiple tabs automatically. Even if I close the browser, it still gets fired up and opens random pages. There is some random processing going on in my processor. My task manager shows that my GPU is also being used for the processing! My computer starts heating up, I disconnect the internet right away.

And Boom! Windows 10 Blue screen error. This is the first time I am seeing one of those on a Windows 10 computer. PFB image for reference.


I hard boot the device and show hidden files and manually start checking folders in the C drive. I find a bunch of malware hidden everywhere. I try deleting a file, but it doesn’t work. I try scanning my PC using Windows Defender and it detects some malware, but before it could resolve it, it starts crunching lots of numbers. Summons the GPU and computer starts heating up again and BOOM! Blue screen error, again!

I hard boot the device again but now it only lands to the Blue screen error, even after multiple attempts. Now my only option is to format my device. Within a matter of minutes I transform from the mindset of a professional electronic music producer to a professional software engineer. FML.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a partition in my hard disk except one stock 15 gb + 800gb partition that came with the machine. Luckily, I have a 32 gb thumb drive which I use to backup extremely critical data**.

The computer then starts its 3 and a half hour long pilgrimage towards enlightenment where it purges all clutter and information and is reborn as a different personality. I lose a lot of other data***.

Even though my computer abstains all the unnecessary data in life, it leaves me hanging while I go through a lot of emotions in this 3 and a half hour period, desperately checking if my computer is back.

This turned out to be the perfect experiment for mindfulness. I consciously decide to delete all images of the past because I don’t need them. Then, whenever I feel restless that all of my data collected over 7 years is gone, just like that. I acknowledge the fact that I am restless and sad and grumpy.

Right when I acknowledge this fact of feeling such a vivid array of emotions, almost magically, I find myself to be calm and at peace with the present. Despite the present being a very emotionally driven event.

If you have read this massive blog post and if you don’t meditate already, I really urge you to do so. Meditation does make a huge difference.

I feel like I have a new world view, both in my WordPress account because of an update and in Life.

I also have a tiny pony and some Carpohydrades in my body from the bottled Badam milk I had at lunch. πŸ™‚


*I downloaded a 1.5gb film @60kbps (12 long grueling hours) which claimed to be Avatar when I was a teenager. I realized I was duped, when the compressed file was asking for a password. It then redirected me to a link asking for my email address to sign up for some random service.


***memories from college stored on the magnetic disk one might call life.

5 minutes – Day 47

I have 5 minutes till the next candle in crude is formed and then and only then can I decide if I can place a sell position or wait for a better entry. That is the reason I am going to try and complete this blog post start to end in 5 minutes.

However, mind plays funny games when you set your mind on doing something. Throughout the day, my mind was overflowing with ideas I could blog about today. However, the moment I decided I must complete this post in 5 minutes, I cannot think of anything! Strange isn’t it? I have 3 minutes left and this is still a pointless exercise. I must stop writing anything no questions asked as soon as 5 minutes are over. So I cannot really decide what should I write about.

I was listening to the Kevin Rose show today and the guest Tim Urban who has a website called Wait but why? talks about how Elon Musk thinks and it is a really unique way of thinking, which revolves around questioning everything that you observe. So if you think that water is liquid, you ask why is water liquid. Because the molecules are ..

Times up. But crude didn’t form a red candle so I going to continue writing.

.. not close to each other like solids, yet not as far as gases. Why are the molecules at just that distance is something I don’t know. Elon musk however, goes the extra mile to know the molecules are just the right distance in water.

Ever since we were kids we have been taught to believe something because everyone else thinks a particular thing is true. What if it isn’t? What if by breaking down everything you have known so far right down to the fundamentals, you discover something nobody else knows because they didn’t bother?

Food for thought.

Note – Took 9 minutes to complete this whole post.

Quantum Computing – Day 46

I attended a meetup at Thoughtworks Coimbatore today on Quantum Computing and Face Recognition / Detection. Quite intriguing, I tell you. I was first introduced to Quantum Computing in the year 2012, and Google’s D Wave was already churning Quantum information in the form of Quantum bits a.k.a Qubits. So unlike traditional /classical computers, quantum computers follow a totally different underlying hardware architecture. Instead of bits, these Quantum computers implement something called Qubits.

We all know how classical bits work. If there is a 1 bit computer (lol), we can have 2 possible states, either 0 or 1 at any given point of time. However, a 1 qubit quantum computer has 2 possible states all the time, i.e. until it is measured. It is a little counter intuitive at first, even I don’t fully understand it yet, but if you consider potential applications of this tech, it is literally mind boggling.

It is based on Quantum physics and borrows a lot from the Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle. What this principle states is until a given event (which has possible outcomes of 1 or 0) is observed, it is 1 and 0 at the same time. Once the event is observed, it then assumes either 1 or 0.

Now, what really interests me is the applications of Quantum entanglement. Suppose you take an entangled qubit and then you travel an infinite amount of distance. Theoretically, when you change on part of the entangled qubit from 0 to 1, the other should change accordingly depending on the intermediate quantum gate and channels used. So, theoretically the information between two entangled ions transfer instantaneously. Literally!

This defies the laws of fundamental physics and hence they lie in the Quantum realm. Einstein himself claimed Entanglement as ‘Spooky action at a distance’. Because, the information transferred between two entangled ions is FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT! Yes, you read that right!

Imagine the efficiency of information transfer that is achievable by using this tech! Imagine USB thumb drives of the future carrying 256 Qubits giving us instant access to the Quantum Internet, where all information is truly open, impregnable, fast and free!

P.S – 256 Qubits is a distant dream because the most sophisticated quantum computer just has 50 Qubits and it has to be stored in a super cold box that is extremely cold! Think of this tech as Vaccum tubes of the past before the invention of transistors and NAND gates. The future implications of this tech are tremendous! Read, research and prosper!

Nirvana – Day 45

Mindfulness is a trait which is very hard to achieve. I have been meditating recently and the guy in the Headspace app always asks me to be mindful of my surroundings and how I feel at all times. I couldn’t quite get it right.

Coincidentally, I was reading Sapiens this morning and I read a line where the author explains beautifully how Gautam Buddha attained enlightenment and how did he go through the whole process. I am pasting the paragraph from Sapiens below for your reference.

“Gautama’s insight was that no matter what the mind experiences, it usually reacts with craving, and craving always involves dissatisfaction. When the mind experiences something distasteful it craves to be rid of the irritation. When the mind experiences something pleasant, it craves that the pleasure will remain and will intensify. Therefore, the mind is always dissatisfied and restless. This is very clear when we experience unpleasant things, such as pain. As long as the pain continues, we are dissatisfied and do all we can to avoid it. Yet even when we experience pleasant things we are never content. We either fear that the pleasure might disappear, or we hope that it will intensify.

Gautama found that there was a way to exit this vicious circle. If, when the mind experiences something pleasant or unpleasant, it simply understands things as they are, then there is no suffering. If you experience sadness without craving that the sadness go away, you continue to feel sadness but you do not suffer from it. There can actually be richness in the sadness. If you experience joy without craving that the joy linger and intensify, you continue to feel joy without losing your peace of mind. But how do you get the mind to accept things as they are, without craving? To accept sadness as sadness, joy as joy, pain as pain? Gautama developed a set of meditation techniques that train the mind to experience reality as it is, without craving. These practices train the mind to focus all its attention on the question, β€˜What am I experiencing now?’ rather than on β€˜What would I rather be experiencing?’ It is difficult to achieve this state of mind, but not impossible.”

These words really made me think. I was focused on the question ‘What am I experiencing now?’ than ‘What would I rather be experiencing?’ I felt a lot better and I was calm the whole day.

Mindfulness is wonderful and I think I find myself at peace. πŸ™‚

Home Alone – Day 44

My room mate permanently moved from Coimbatore to Pune. πŸ™‚ I am living alone now. There could be a few pros and cons but the pros far outweigh the cons. I am an introvert, except on my blog. This is my ranting place.

I am scared of the dark at times, I might get lonely at times, but I am 24 years old and I think I can get over it. I do have to pay double the rent, but that’s alright. I have the whole room to myself and nobody to answer to. I can do a lottttt of things now. Haha.

I think that’s it for today? I am getting really lazy with these posts. πŸ˜€